In the Survival Guide, Part 1, I talked to writers about how highly sensitive people (HSPs), introverts, and shy writers need to protect themselves, and be on guard about their vulnerabilities. We got into how they’ll need to protect by keeping themselves physically ready.
Just being aware that sensory and emotional overload are out there, and that writers are particularly susceptible, will help them cope and strategize ways to protect themselves. The better they understand their temperament the better prepared they’ll be.
Many writers who find themselves on the HSP-Introversion-Shyness Continuum, are going to be very empathic and sensitive emotionally. Considering that they tend to be more attuned to other people, their behavior, and their emotions, it’s important to realize writers have to be careful about absorbing negative emotions from others in Hollywood.
Consider how many Narcissists are successful in Hollywood. There are prima donnas all around, including actors, agents, directors, even producers, and studio people. They tend to treat anyone they view as “underlings” with great disrespect. It fills certain emptiness inside.
Think about “The Devil Wears Prada.” Meryl Streep’s character, based on real life editor Anna Wintour, was merciless with her workers, with other editors, with photographers and models, and especially with waiters, drivers, and her own interns.
Writers need to be prepared to check in with their emotions, especially if they find themselves outside their comfort zones, and pay attention to how they’re feeling. If all the networking, meetings, dealing with agents, or producers, are causing frustration, or anxiety, think about taking a break.
I recommend taking a walk, taking a drive, listening to music, go window shopping, find a park to relax in, anything to lift their spirits, and to ground themselves.
It’s best they stay focused on the positives, their great attributes, their talents, their supporters, their loved ones, the things they love to do (including writing).
The point of redirecting their thoughts to more relaxing, productive, and generally positive direction is to help enable them to “let go” of troubling thoughts and feelings.
Another good way to “let go” is to be get better at monitoring their feelings , and if they find they’re dwelling on what someone said about they, or what they said about someone else, take a break and redirect their thinking.
Everyone in the world experiences negative self-talk and self-critical thoughts, sometimes fairly often. A great way to deal with these thoughts is to acknowledge them, but don’t engage with them, or dwell on them.
Let them go. This is the basis of mindfulness, in general, and mindfulness meditation. Mindfulness is about staying in the present, enjoying the moment.
The infamous Harvard psychologist- Buddhist Guru, Ram Dass remarked, “be here now.” Simple words, but when observed, they will keep writers in a much healthier state of mind. Worrying about the future or the past can easily lead to anxiety or depression.
Another activity that highly sensitive writers would be advised to consider is the pace at which they’re working and living. Anybody who’s worked in Hollywood knows that the pace is extremely fast. Producers always say, “we want it yesterday. “
They’d be well advised not to schedule too many meetings in one day. Manage projects so the deadlines don’t all fall in the same week. Avoid rushing around town, dealing with a thousand things in one afternoon.
Another common scenario with HSPs occurs when they’re writing. They may spend day after day working, and because they’re into their “flow,” they want to keep riding that wave. After a while, their energy levels will get sapped, they may start dwelling on how they feel so alone.
I recommend when writers feel isolated, to take breaks, call friends, go to lunch, or play poker. Everyone needs a human connection. Try to keep a sense of balance in their lives.
Another important set of tools for HSPs involves ways to help themselves relax, and unwind after a troubling few hours or few days.
One simple practice that works for a lot of people involves slow, diaphragmatic breathing, or what’s called “yoga breathing.” This can be done just about anywhere.
Another relaxation process; self-hypnosis, which is a process of slowly descending into a different brain state, by closing their eyes and visualizing themselves (for example) walking down a long set of stairs, counting backwards from 100, until finding themselves removed from all their stress.
Writers can also watch Yoga, Tai-Chi, or even self-hypnosis videos on line. Youtube has hundreds of these videos, all created to help people relax without drugs. While they can do these relaxation exercises alone, I also recommend they go to a yoga studio, see a hypnotist, or work with others on Tai Chi.
There are easily thousands of different types of meditation, so I’d just like to approach this subject in a general way. The goals of some of the “mindfulness” meditations involve, sitting quietly for a few minutes to maybe 20 minutes a day, with eyes closed, paying attention to breathing and “letting go” of thoughts.
I think the most valuable approach to meditation for writers is to open their mind to whatever floats through their consciousness. Don’t try to think of anything at all. Thoughts will arise.
While acknowledging the thoughts are there, don’t engage them, don’t dwell on them; just allow them to move along. We have these “automatic thoughts” all the time, and there tend to be more negative or critical thoughts than positive ones.
The practice writers get in “letting go” of such thoughts will make it easier with time, for them to “let go” of thoughts or emotions that may cause excessive worry. Just like the more exercising the muscles; mindfulness practice will exercise the mind, so it can “let go” of negative thoughts.
I’m not suggesting that writers ignore all negative thoughts or self-criticisms. Some of these thoughts may be necessary, like”did I lock the door when I left home” Try not to dwell on unhealthy thoughts.
I hope highly sensitive writers will always remember that their sensitivity, their increased empathy, intuitive thoughts and feelings, their ability to accomplish complex tasks inside their head; they all come with a gift, a talent. It’s the very reason they’re so talented; they can tap into deeper emotions.
I try to remind writers to be kind and compassionate to themselves. They shouldn’t beat themselves up because they missed a meeting, got a rejection, or didn’t place in a screenwriting competition. Writers must manage expectations, slow their pace, go easy on themselves, and challenge critical self-talk.
If writers start feeling isolated, or down, I recommend scheduling events they know they’ll enjoy. Go to concerts, go out to movies with friends, go to the gym, swim in the ocean, go surfing, read other scripts, read books, watch TV, have sex. Put some of these fun activities on their calendar where they’ll see them. Always have something to look forward to.
If you’re struggling in your creative career, or feeling frustrated, anxious or depressed, call for a free phone consult from a 20 year veteran screenwriter and Stanford University Psychotherapist.
Image credit: Creative Commons Naughty Little Bean 2010 by Lauren Hammond is licensed under CC By 2.0